I did No Contact for 5 months before I foolishly decided that I could handle “being friends”—-huge mistake. To him, it’s as if I am some droid that he asks a question of and immediately I am supposed to spit out an answer. I went over to his house for dinner and he went upstairs to play drums “for me” while I made the dinner I had been invited over for and then he has the gall to say “you see what I do for you; you see how I sweat for you” regarding his drum playing. OMG!
The next day he messages me, not a hello or that he enjoyed our dinner, but instead another question for me to help with! I lost it and typed the following. His “response” was maddening!
On Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 1:00 PM, Nicole wrote:
“E…I’m frustrated. I was thinking I would feel better, but I don’t. Maybe in a few weeks after your trip we can discuss in person–I need for things to be different.
I am happy to help you when I can, but I don’t want that to be all this friendship is about….one-sidedness—your only contacting me when you need my help with something. I helped with lots on your “to do” list last night, listened to your problems, your drum playing etc…but when I did start to talk about my work or my family…you almost immediately butted in with your own story/anecdote and didn’t let me finish. Now this morning, not even a “good morning” and you are asking for something else—that you can easily figure out. I’ve got stressors and problems too… I want a more balanced relationship.”
[1:15:08 PM] E:
“maid charged me $20.00 per hour…or $80.00 total.. Isn’t that high?”
That was it…no other response! WTF!
Wow – yep, he’s wacked. It’s all about him – no one else matters.
Go back to NO Contact – you can’t be “friends” with an N – but then you’ve figured that out already.
NC is way better than dealing with the wackadoodle.
You’re always sure what NC is going to give you: sanity, peace of mind, release from the N-fog.
ES