Hello
I have read through your blog and am amazed at how everything you describe regarding the Narc meets my current situation.
I wrote the following poem during the first time he devalued me and I still believed he was the sun. I would like to know what you think.
My situation is very complicated and very difficult. I have not let go just yet but have taken your advice in relation to many things. I admire your honesty and strength in bringing such a crippling and devastating personality disorder to light so that victims can stop blaming themselves and seek for a way’s to break free and have hope again in their lives..
Unavailable Eyes!
Beautiful, amazing, intense, mysterious eyes.
I crave, dream and wish for you on me.
Beautiful, so damn beautiful.
I suffer, tremble, and hurt when you’re distant.
Panic, crumbling mistakes, because I desperately need you.
Amazing eyes, embossed on my brain.
Unavailable raw desire, you have set me free.
Special, unique, unlike any other .
I want your deep, your innocent.
I want to meet your soul.
You picked me, OMG-Yes! You picked me.
Your magical hunger stunned me with unbearable desire.
Beautiful unavailable eyes stirring me deeper than any other.
Protecting my heart. I withheld how special you are to me.
You are above me, you are magic, and I admire you immensely.
Restless inner turmoil and desperate need for you is overpowering.
Pushing you away, but wanting you to want me.
Confused, blind, and desperately seeking your approval.
I LOST you.
Painful regret.
Amazing unavailable eyes.
Shine and smile, you are special.
I dream of you and will always have a light on.
No experience like you.
Hidden true feelings, painful rejection.
For you I lose control.
I feel alive and I love it.
Beautiful unavailable eyes.
Thankyou for giving me the time of my life.
Short, intense and extremely addictive.
My drug of choice. I fight my desire for you daily.
I’ve used deception and self-sabotage.
Forcing you to hate me.
I don’t feel less for you.
I can’t bare that you are thinking badly of me.
Dear unavailable eyes,
I will never forget you.
No matter how far away I travel.
I will think of you and smile.
The powerful, intense and short roller coaster of emotional chaos I have felt in the past few months.
I will always remember as very special because I was dead and you brought me back to life.